There are moments when you can sense as though your significant other has been taken away by despair or that everything you say or do is inappropriate. Even in the best of circumstances, relationships can be difficult, and when one of you suffers from a mental health condition, some problems in the relationship become more complex. Discovering new ways to assist and interact with each other won’t be simple. When you love someone who is depressed, you must adjust to their demands while ensuring that your own well being is maintained.
The Struggle In The Relationship
Since depression is a significant psychological issue, most individuals are generally aware of the various ways that it presents itself. But each person’s experience with depression is unique. Numerous fundamental symptoms are similar, including a lack of interest in typical activities, adjustments to food or sleeping schedules, and sensations of worthlessness or guilt. However, your partner can exhibit less well-known signs like rage or anxiousness. Additionally, they may exhibit high levels of functionality on certain days, and nonfunctional depression states on others.
Your partner’s symptoms of depressive disorder may play a significant role in the dynamics of your relationship. You may see melancholy as just one aspect of their multifaceted personality and emphasize other qualities, like their artistic ability, sense of humor, cognitive ability, or honesty. That’s fantastic because it indicates that you can view them as a complete individual rather than just based on their mental state.
However, there may be particular difficulties in your relationship that you would not encounter in other partnerships. It’s difficult to endure watching your partner suffer under the pressure of their anguish, so it makes sense that you would want to assist them in getting well. You’ve likely heard a lot of myths about depression. How you present yourself to your lover can change significantly if you can tell myth from fact.
Before you can provide help, you must acknowledge one important fact: Taking care and attempting to “do something to make them better” or erase their despair will only exhaust you both. Depression is sometimes compared to thick fog or an empty sky. Most people compare it to drowning. Many are so overcome with boredom, indifference, suicide thoughts, and pessimism that they find it difficult to remember earlier happier times.
The Struggle Of Loving Someone With Depression
Blaming Yourself For Everything That Is Happening
Often, when you see your partner having a mental and emotional breakdown and struggling with the world, you can’t help but wonder how things turned out that way. You question your ability to care for your significant other in these times. It makes you feel like whatever your partner is going through is because of your lack of attention, encouragement, and better support. You start to blame yourself every time your significant other falls into depressive episodes. You form this mentality that the reason your partner is struggling is because you can’t find the cure or can’t give whatever it is that your significant other requires.
Focusing On Fixing, Rather Than Understanding
Helping your significant other cope and handle the mental condition is a priority that you can work on. However, the struggle is when you focus more on fixing the issue and the relationship instead of understanding the psychological demands. Sometimes, because your partner always feels out of the mood, you tend to do whatever brings back that stable connection without thinking about why it happens or the sudden change of emotions. You will become more inclined to overcome the current situation and not follow through with what could prevent it.
Being Extra Careful In Choosing The Right Words
When your significant partner is dealing with depression, you know some words aren’t right to spit out. It can make your partner react to it in a very sensitive way. There are tendencies that you get misinterpreted and misunderstood. Your partner with depression might not accept your criticism openly, which would result in shutting down. Dealing with a depressed partner often makes you think twice about how you should express your thoughts and ideas, along with the fear of not wanting to hurt your partner’s feelings with your truth.
Thinking You Are Not Enough
A depressed individual often feels empty and uninterested in anything. It’s the depression that makes them unable to see the importance of other people around them. Thus, dealing with them is a struggle because their mood and emotional reactions can often make you feel like you are not doing enough to make them feel better. It makes you believe you are not enough for them because even if you tried so hard to help them lift their moods, you are sometimes rejected. You question your worth to your significant other because you do not feel worthy of their love.
Struggling To Maintain A Balance
Learning to deal with someone with a mental health condition like depression is hard. That is because you need to continuously exert an effort to work on and meet your partner’s needs, even if it is already compromising yours. The struggle becomes so intense when you try to keep this setup for a long time that you neglect on own mental and emotional needs. You will become more focused on proving the best for your partner while slowly losing yourself. You will be put in a position where you no longer have to choose and acknowledge your needs because you have no option.
Possibly Developing A Mental Condition
Trying to help your significant other in dealing with a mental health condition is a battle that the two of you need to win, and it’s just about changing your comfort zone, especially if it is affecting your commitment and social relationship with others. With all the difficulties you have to manage, sometimes you begin to develop your own mental health condition, such as stress and anxiety. This mental illness can be from your inability to focus on yourself due to your anxious state and constant desire to assist your partner’s mental health and well being. The possibility of developing another psychological issue is high, especially when you are put in a pressured situation.
Ways To Handle Depression In The Relationship
Finding healthy coping mechanisms is crucial when depression starts to interfere with your everyday life and negatively impacts your relationship.
Educate Yourself About Depression
Being a supporting partner requires having a thorough understanding of the intricacies of depression. If you’re in a normal relationship with an individual who suffers from depression, educate yourself on the condition by studying reputable content on the internet and speaking with people and support groups who have experienced similar issues. This will assist you in comprehending your significant other’s experiences more deeply and allow you not to be selfish with your own needs. Recall that sadness is not the same as grief or loss. It’s common to feel depressed when faced with challenging circumstances like losing a job, a relationship ending, or a loved one passing away, but these emotions usually pass with time. Therefore, avoid assuming that your partner’s depression is the result of something. Your significant other will probably tell you the cause of the mental health issue at some time in the relationship. As a result, respect their boundaries while encouraging children to express their feelings.
Stay Flexible
Being in a relationship with someone who is depressed requires you to be adaptable because depression is a complicated illness. Someone you love may exhibit unpredictable mood swings. This may hamper their capacity to engage in activities. If you and your significant other had planned a Friday night out with friends, for instance, don’t be too upset if Friday arrives and they don’t feel like going out. Accept a shift of plans with grace. Offer to do something that your spouse is comfortable with instead, like watching a movie together, cooking at home, reading a book, etc. When it comes to depression, a common error individuals make is placing the blame on their partner. Remember that they aren’t calling off events to hurt your feelings. Their condition is psychological, and it interferes with their ability to think and act normally.
Accept Their Feelings
Giving someone depressed permission to feel what they are feeling is a sign of love. Because they are unwilling to be a weight of a burden, individuals who are depressed often suppress their feelings and do not even talk to their families. This is particularly valid if their significant other has made an extra conscious effort to be understanding. Still, it’s critical to give those who are depressed space to recognize and communicate their emotions. Do not just send a text message, have empathy and talk about your issues. Occasionally, people might not even know why they are depressed or gloomy. It is more complicated than just being depressed for a reason. That’s not all that it is. Telling someone you’re dating who suffers from depression that it’s not their fault and encouraging them to express their thoughts will go a long way.
Participate In Your Partner’s Healing
Depression is curable. Therapy treatment options include counseling, prescription drugs, and changes to their lifestyles. Expert therapists have undergone training to assist clients in controlling their manifestations of depression. When you’re dating someone with depression, you have to encourage them to receive treatment. Keep in mind that the most beneficial thing you can do when handling love with depressive disorders is to encourage your significant other within reason to acknowledge the effort they’re putting into their recovery. It is essential that you feel supported, so seek treatments if you have to to strengthen your overall mental and emotional health.
Professional psychologists treat depressive disorders in a thorough and all-encompassing manner. In addition to assessing the potential biological causes of depression, they consider the person’s differences in social and lifestyle factors. Avoid waiting until your relationship has irreversibly deteriorated if you are dating someone who is depressed. Take the initial step toward recovery by speaking with a mental health professional. Contact a few experts and learn the information service on how you can focus on self care during a depressive episode.